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friendship

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What Makes Him Mr. Right

ffhgfg It has often been said that the best person to get into a relationship with is someone who is the complete opposite of who you are. Of course you'd have to share some core values, but the difference in personalities helps to add spice to the relationship. At least that's what we've been told. Here, what works for magnets (where opposite poles attract) is being applied to the one ting that unites two people on deeply intimate levels- a relationship. People are starkly different from magnets. We're dynamic and colourful- a juxtaposition of right and wrong. There is, therefore, no rule or book or school of thought that can truly dictate what makes an individual right for you. It's something you discover on your own. The following are some tips that can help you on the road to discovery. Discovering Mr. Right is something only you can do, but these tips can help guide you in the process.

Understand Who You Are

There is no way that you're going to find the RIGHT person if you are completely clueless about who you are.  When you don't understand who you are, yon begin to look for answers in the people you surround yourself with. Some of these people may take advantage of that and only leave you more damaged and confused. Understanding who you are is a process that takes time. There are some people in their twenties who are still completely lost. If you are one of these people (maybe you're not in your twenties, but you're still lost) then you can use the QDR strategy to begin the journey of self-discovery.

Q- Question

Ask yourself important questions. What do you believe? Why do you believe what you believe? What are your dreams? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? You will discover the answers to these questions overtime, but the point is to seriously think about them. They are the gateway to the next step on the journey.

D-Discover

The only way that you are going to be able to test whether or not your answers are correct is through experience. Go out more. Interact with people more. Step outside of your comfort zone.

R-React

When Thomas Edison discovered that he could solve the problem of a lack of bright, steady light in the night time, he didn't just sit on his idea. Instead, he reacted and created one of the most useful inventions- the light bulb. As you discover more about who you are, react by gaining more experiences in what you enjoy and believe. Stand true to your values. Doing these things will help you attract the kind of person you'd want to spend a lifetime with.

Be Wary of Who You Spend Your Time With

Your life partner isn't necessarily going to be a random stranger you meet at some dingy bar. Instead, he more than likely will be that friend you've had for months or years. This truth means that you need to be careful about who you allow into your inner circles. Don't keep people who don't respect who you are. Even if your personalities and values differ, that respect will prevent them from leading you astray.

Don't Be Afraid to Give Someone Who Is Similar to You a Chance

It is true that we are often attracted to people with personalities opposite to our own. So, a quiet and reserved woman may be attracted to a more outgoing and verbose man. Being with that type of person helps you to discover things about yourself that you may never have discovered with someone with a personality similar to yours. The flip side to this, however, is that people who are opposites often don't understand each other. In fact, they began to irritate each other after awhile. For instance, the verbose man may eventually become annoyed by the very quiet woman.

This doesn't mean that you can't find Mr. Right in someone opposite to you, however. It simply means that you shouldn't rule out someone with a personality similar to yours either. He may just be the one for you.

 

There are no hard fast rules when it comes to relationships. What is true, however, is that you need to understand who you are and what you stand for in order to attract the man who is right for you. He may already be within your reach...you just need to open your eyes and get rid of your checklist. At the end of the day it's about who you're happy with. It's about the person who brings out the best in you while you bring out the best in him. It's about the man who can be your best friend and who can accept you for who you are, flaws and all. It's also about you being able to be all of these things for him as well.

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Defining True Love

lkljlk Love is an elusive concept. For many, it describes a feeling of attraction. However, true love is something that very few people experience in their lifetime. You see, love is more than feelings. It's more than butterflies in your stomach. True love requires hard work and sacrifice. It requires making your relationship work even when you feel like giving up.  It requires selflessness, sacrifice, commitment, and friendship.

Selflessness

Oftentimes we enter relationships because we want to feel good. We want to overcome loneliness. We want someone who will buy us nice things and take us to nice places. We want someone who will feed our egos. However, true love requires overlooking our desires. It requires that we put the needs of another individual before our own.  Instead of being selfish, it encourages us to be selfless.

Sacrifice

If true love requires us to be selfless, it is only logical that it will also require sacrifice.  There will be times when you will have to give up your comfort in order to make your partner comfortable. There will also be times when you have to sacrifice your own needs to meet the needs of your partner. It's hard work, but it is worthwhile if both partners love each other equally.

Commitment

Relationships are not easy. They involve several conflicts. True love requires us to be committed in the midst of conflict. Furthermore, it requires us to be committed even when we want to have an affair.  The vows we make should not be scoffed at. They should be treated with respect. For better or for worse. Through sickness or in health. Till death do us part.

Friendship

The best relationships are those in which both partners are friends.  They are able to share everything with each other. They are also able to enjoy each other's company no matter where they are. Friendship is a strong basis for the development of a lasting relationship.

 

If more people were focusing on these key components there would be stronger relationships in the world today. Two people who truly love each other are able to create a lasting bond. So, are you truly in love or are you experiencing infatuation?

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When Friends Become Strangers

There is a famous quote that says "Real friends don't have to speak to each other daily to remain in each other's hearts always". Although this is true, I find that through the changes in life I have grown apart from my real friends. This is a reality that saddens me. What is life without friends? One of the questions I have been battling with recently is "How do I remain close to my friends?" This question has led me to come up with the following tips that I believe can help real friends remain close.

Accept Each Other

I find that my friends don't accept me for who I am sometimes. Either that or they truly don't understand who I am. As the years progress, we grow as individuals and, as a result, our world view changes. Maturity and life experiences mold us into the people we become. Friends should be able to take that journey with you and not criticize you or make you feel like an outcast because your perspective on life has changed.

Keep In Touch

I am a reclusive person and there are times when I really want to be in my own space without any interaction with people. However, there are some days when I just need someone to call and chat with me about any and everything. No serious conversations but just trivial things that make us both laugh and feel good about life. Very rarely do some of my friends do that and I hate to always be the one to make contact. There are two friends I have who really make the effort and I love them for that but I believe that all real friends should keep in touch with each other.

Influence Each Other to Become Better People

Real friends are able to take each other out of their comfort zones and give each other words of insight and worthwhile experiences that will help each other grow. There is a friend I have who has shown me an entirely different perspective on life and by doing so, he has made me more open to people and situations. A real friend knows when to look beyond a negative response you give to something that will benefit you and influence you to do it. I'm not saying that if your friend is telling you that weed is good for you that you should go ahead and smoke it. What I am saying is that if your friend wants to take you out to a social and you respond by saying you're not in the mood when you really know that you just don't think you'll be comfortable, then your friend should be able to see beyond your negative response and help you to understand that the social interaction will be good for you.

Keep true to your real friends and really make an effort to understand them. Help them to feel loved and appreciated so that your friendship lasts a lifetime.

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Maintaining Lifelong Friendships

best-friendship-quotes-1 There are some people who enter our lives who we just can't let go of. They are the ones who have seen us at our worst and also at our best. Some of them even know us better than we know ourselves and are always there when we need a shoulder to lean on. People like these are friends we want to keep for life but factors such as distance, marriage, and jobs often threaten our ability to hold on to them.

How can we hold on to these life long friends?

Keep Communication Open

We are in the cyber age where communication has become much easier. Skype, Facebook, FaceTime, and ooVoo have made it very simple to keep in touch with the ones we treasure. Even if you are in different time zones, there is NO excuse for you to not leave your friend a message on any of these media just to show that you care and that you're thinking about them. Over the weekends you can also try to make time to have a Skype chat and catch up on what is happening in each other lives.

Don't Hold Grudges

There are times when our good friends will hurt us in order to help us. That sounds like a paradox but if a friend is really a true friend, he or she won't be afraid to tell us exactly what he or she thinks regardless of how it will hurt us. True friends are honest (sometimes brutally so) but they need to be in order to prevent us from making mistakes or cause us to wake up from the fantasy we're in. As a result, we shouldn't hold grudges just because something our friend said upset us. The friendship is too valuable for it to be lost over something so simple.

Support Each Other

There are going to be periods in your life where you are so busy that you can hardly find time for yourself much less someone else. However, it is important for us to understand that we need to make time for our friends. In the same way we want our friends to support us through our difficult times (as well as our times of celebration), we also have to be willing to support them when they need us most regardless of how busy we are.

There are also certain milestones in life that I believe all life long friends should ensure they are present at: graduation (if not at the ceremony then at whatever graduation celebration your friend may be having), marriage (if you honestly believe that your friend's fiance or fiancee isn't right for him or her then you NEED to make him or her know before a mistake is made) and the introduction of a newborn into a family (your friend is going to need lots of help....you're now an auntie or uncle). I am sure that there are more but these are the events that stand out to me. There is also the loss of a loved one...never forget that your friend needs support in his or her time of grief.

Good friends are one of the best gifts we will ever have on this earth. Learn to treasure them and keep the friendship alive.

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