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embracing life


Self Pity

kkkk It is so easy to become consumed by the troubles and concerns of your own life. This is especially true when you begin to compare yourself with others. More often than not I find myself wondering why I can't find a partner and be happy like my friends. I also often wonder why I can't reach a place of financial stability where I don't have to think very carefully about spending money to enjoy the simple things in life. I'm constantly battling with feelings of inadequacy and often deem myself to not be good enough. What I have come to realise, however, is that self pity gets you nowhere. Overcoming self pity is not a simple task. Nevertheless, I've come up with three simple tricks that you can use to free yourself from this negative attribute.

Stop Comparing

Self pity often begins when we start to compare ourselves to others. You were made the way you are for a reason. Your skills and abilities are valuable to someone in this world. The aim isn't to be perfect; it is to be proud of who you are and become the best you can be. You'd be surprised by how working humbly in your own corner can help you to gain respect of your superiors. Work hard doing what you know you can do. Over time you will begin to improve your skills and even develop other useful skills if you maintain this focus. You may even get a promotion that you may have been overlooked for had you remained bitter about not being like someone else.

Think Positively

In the first chapter of my book Becoming the Best You: Ten Pressure Points that Lead to a Successful Life, I discuss the power of positive thinking. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Have you ever observed extremely positive people who are happy about life? Their optimism is contagious and they're a joy to be around.  They also receive more opportunities than the average person. Change your perspective on life and you will begin to see a dramatic change.

You Aren't the Only One With Problems

Regardless of the number of problems you think you have there are several other people in the world who have far more problems than you. Yes, you may have too many bills to pay or your house may be falling apart, but there is someone out there with no job and no home. Focus your energy on trying to find solutions to your problems instead of dwelling on the fact that you have problems. Also, look for ways to do good for others. The more you give is the more grateful you'll be for the little you have.


Use these tips to help you break free from the shackles of self pity. Life is short and you shouldn't spend it wallowing in negative feelings.