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Are Relationships Really To Be Desired?

gfgf Every day, at some point in the day, I find myself thinking about being in a relationship. Either that or I'm thinking about the program or decor for my wedding.This has been especially true this month since it seems like almost every person on my Facebook friends list has been getting either married or engaged. I never knew December was the month for love birds!

Many single ladies often find themselves in the same predicament- dreaming about the perfect relationship. I'm not expecting a perfect relationship because I know no such thing exists. However, last night I had to stop myself and really question why I want to be in a relationship so badly. After all, a relationship is much more than just the warm feeling you get when you think about that special person. It most certainly is more than the ridiculously expensive wedding that you'll be encouraged to put on. It is a commitment of mind, body and soul. You can no longer focus solely on your needs, dreams, and desires. Instead, you have to ensure that you also pay attention to all that your partner wants, dreams and desires. The more I think about it is the more fearful I am about being in a relationship. I've been there and I know how completely I give myself to my partner. Do I really want to go through that again only to end up being alone after years of commitment?

A Beautiful Relationship is Formed with the Right Person

I've been told on countless occasions that you can be ridiculously happy in a relationship if you find the person who is right for you. I've even observed couples who've been married for years and still seem happy. My fear is that I will never experience that reality. How can I know that the person is right for me? Will he come with a check mark beside his face?

You Get to Know Someone by Dating

Dating is one of the best ways to get to know someone. Granted, most people put on a front to impress those they are dating. Nevertheless, after one or two dates it's sometimes fairly easy to know if you and the other person will click. The thing with dating though is that it requires money. At this stage of our lives, the people in my circles don't have much of that (neither do I for that matter). Yes, there are creative and inexpensive ways to date. Has anyone I know ever thought of them or tried them? Of course not. So, dating is restricted to occasional link ups and chatting via text messages, What's App, or Facebook. Don't get me wrong...doing these things does help people get to know each other over time. However, going on a date every now and again would be nice. My fear is that I won't find someone who will make that effort to think outside the box with his limited budget.

A Relationship is About Giving Yourself Completely to Someone

It is terrifying to know that relationships involve complete trust and being willing to share all your fears and desires with someone. It really is. It's hard to do this with a best friend much less someone who you're not sure will stay around. Is it really possible to trust so completely? Is it even ok to give yourself so freely?

I know that I've been rambling, but I just had to get these thoughts out. I would love to hear your feedback. Feel free to leave comments in the space provided below this post.



Letting Go

cliff_hanging Your fingers grip tightly to the ledge as you look down at the dark space in the middle of the canyon. Fear grips your heart and threatens to take your breath away as you try your best to prevent yourself from falling into this deep abyss. No one can hear your screams for help and you have no idea what fate you will experience if you decide to take the fall. What should you do?

So often in life we find ourselves holding on so tightly to things, people, and situations that when the time comes for us to let go, we are so afraid that we will fall into an abyss of uncertainty and hopelessness that we choose to hold on to these sources of our pain and unhappiness. I realise that I have been holding on to the ledge of a 'relationship' I have been in because I am just too afraid to let go. Several questions swirl through my brain..."What if I can actually make him love me exclusively?" "What if I let go and can never find a man again?" "Who is going to be there fore me when I'm lonely?" I've come to realise that the answer to these questions will only come if I let go and trust that something will be there to catch my fall. Here are some tips that I have come up with to help me to let go that I hope can also help you.

Know Your Worth

Don't hold on to something or someone just because you want to fill a gap or find comfort. Know that you are worth having someone who loves you completely and will want to be with YOU and ONLY YOU; someone who want take you for granted and will view you as a valuable person in his life. You don't deserve to settle.

Better Will Come

Things happen at the right times and we go through various experiences in life that can only help to make us stronger. When you let go of the person or situation that is causing you to doubt yourself and your worth, your eyes will be opened to the wealth of possibilities that are out there. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Hold on to the Right Things

When we let go of something, we take hold of something else. Allow your experiences to guide you into holding on to the right thing or people. As Albert Einstein cleverly puts it "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Move on from the bad and take up what is good.


When it's time to let go just do what you have to and move on with your life. Don't hold on to things that will only tear you down.