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Mental Health

Developing Your Inner Peace

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Developing Your Inner Peace

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Loud noises. Honking horns. Loud people. Difficult bosses. Blinding lights. Screaming children. STOP!!!! The hustle and bustle of life can oftentimes create feelings of great trepidation that lead us to seek comfort in a person, food or object that we believe relieves our stress and sets our minds at ease.  It also causes us to lose sight of our dreams as we get lost in the pandemonium of life. However, have you ever stopped to consider what would happen when your source of comfort is suddenly removed from your life? What will you do? How will you cope? Also, what will happen if your dreams become a fading memory? 72960764.pHFTVdYZ

Many of us have a dependency complex. In order for us to feel passion and exuberance to do anything, we depend on others to push us and propel us forward. In theory, nothing is inherently wrong with seeking the support and encouragement of family and friends but, in order for you to truly advance in life and become the best (and most successful version of yourself) you have to learn to develop self-motivation. With self-motivation, you can conquer any challenge or obstacle you face and make great strides towards attaining your goals. The real question is...how do you develop self-motivation?

Change Your Thought Patterns

Alvin Day in his book "If Caterpillars Can Fly So Can I" states "Every aspect of your life today results from words- words you think, say to yourself, utter with your tongue, express in writing, plus words you absorb from others...".  H. Norman Wright in his book "A Better Way to Think" further states that how we think affects what we do and how we feel. I have first-hand experience with this as my outlook on my job has resulted in depression and substandard performance. For years I have been caught up in the disappointment of not going to med school that I have missed out on so much of what my present circumstances have to offer me. Most days when I go to work I would tell myself that I hate my job, I hate these students and I am not capable of being a good teacher. Consequently, my energy in the classroom was non-existent and I was just going through the motions. This holiday season, I have begun working about how I think about my job and it has resulted in my mind opening up to new ideas that I can use to impart my lessons. Although I have not put these thoughts into practice yet, I know that I am going to see much better results in my classroom. No matter what people said, I had to develop this mindset on my own in order to truly step into another phase of my life-journey. Negative thoughts produce negative outcomes....positive thoughts produce positive outcomes. It really is that simple.

Speak In the Affirmative

After being negative for so many years, you mind becomes conditioned to negative thoughts. So, no matter how much you want to be positive, your mind is telling you otherwise. Nevertheless, it is possible to transform your thinking into positive energy. Personally, I am developing the habit of saying "I am an excellent teacher" regardless of what my mind may be saying. I will continue to speak this affirmative both verbally and in my thoughts until it becomes a reality. You would be surprised by how just speaking positively can give you renewed energy and cause a dramatic shift in your circumstances overtime.

Put Pen to Paper

It is one thing to have your thoughts in your head but when you begin to write them down, you have a visual representation of your ideas. This can help you to develop the plans needed to put your thoughts to action and will also bring you joy and comfort from the stresses and negativity that surrounded your life. I have many ideas, plans and dreams and I know that they will come to fruition because I have developed a plan of action for each and I am doing what I need to in order to execute these plans. don't let financial constraints or lack of emotional support prevent you from moving forward. You know where you want to go so do what you need to do to get there.

I would suggest that each morning, you write five goals that you want to achieve for that that will propel you towards your dreams. Throughout the day, work towards accomplishing each of those goals and at the end of the day, perform a mental evaluation of your success. this will give you a renewed sense of purpose and help you not to become distracted by the noise of life.

The only person who can move you one step closer to your dreams is you. Don't depend on people or things to provide you with comfort or support. Instead, find your inner strength and use that to climb to the peak of your mountain.

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Creating Happiness

Happiness On my birthday, August 30, 2013, I received a phone call from my uncle that I will never forget. We were chatting and laughing and catching up when he paused for a few seconds and then said "Never depend on another people to make you happy. No one else can make you happy but yourself and no one can make you sad unless you allow them to." I have seen quotes that say similar things many times but hearing those words being spoken  to me really brought the message home.

Happiness is an important aspect of life but many people don't realise that it isn't found in wealth or possessions. True happiness is found in appreciating what you have and embracing each challenge and disappointment as it comes. Understanding this fact has led me to write this post so that I can share the wisdom I've garnered over the past two days.

Happiness Requires Effort

As soon as January began this year, I began to make plans for my birthday. I chose where I wanted to go and who I wanted to share that day with me. However, as the year progressed and money got really tight because my temporary job had ended, I abandoned the idea and decided to resort to my usual "sitting at home feeling sorry for my self" birthday. By the middle of August I really began to think about what I was doing and made a decision....no matter what, I was going to ENJOY my birthday and be HAPPY on my birthday. As a result, I made a financial decision and got the money I needed to drive into Kingston and spend an awesome evening with some of the people I value most in my life. I made the sacrifice and ended up having an amazing evening.

The sacrifice that you may have to make may not be financial. It may require you to give up friends who are making you unhappy or it may require you to give up some time that you would spend doing more work than necessary so that you can do something you enjoy.  Nevertheless, when the sacrifice is made you will be amazed at how great you feel.

Happiness Requires Us to Stop What Comes So Easily

The thing that comes most easily to many of us is negativity. We tell ourselves that we don't look good enough or we don't have any friends or we aren't good enough to do something. According to an article written by Amie (2012) entitled How Thoughts Determine How You Feel negative thoughts feed each other and cause your body to respond physically and emotionally. She states that she experienced headaches, muscle tension and depression because of negative thoughts . However, she also states that when we begin to think positively and make positive statements our body responds positively.

Another call that I got on my birthday was from my aunt and she encouraged me to go into my new job with a positive attitude. Although it is not what I want to do, if I give it 100% then I may just be rewarded with exactly what I want to do. Positive thinking leads to positive results.

Happiness Overcomes Fear

Fear will always be an ever present force in our lives. It is how we choose to deal with it that matters. I provide some tips for overcoming fear in my post entitled Conquering Fear but I will mention here that when we learn to conquer our fears, it frees us from a bondage we have placed ourselves under. Think of a slave who has been shackled and beaten but who has suddenly gotten the strength to shatter the chains. Think of the joy that comes with that experience. This joy is similar to the joy we experience when we learn to overcome our fears. Never let fear take away your joy.

Never Allow Someone to control Your Happiness

When we allow people to have power over our emotions, we become their captives. Always remember that no one can make you happy but yourself. So, when your friend disappoints you by saying that he can't go to the movies with you or he can't come to your celebration then you have two decisions to make. The first decision is to become sad and upset because of the disappointment. The second is to smile, understand where your friend is coming from, and find something else that makes you happy. Probably you can watch a movie at home or find another friend to go out with. Regardless, the point is that you are in control of your emotions and of your happiness. Don't relinquish that control to someone else.

I hope that this post can help you to find true happiness in your life. Always remember that you are the only one who can make you happy.

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Know Thyself

Image Who am I? Seems like a simple question right? But if you really pause to think about it...what would your response be? Personally, I would give a generic answer such as, "Hi. I'm Christine and I'm a caring person."  However, truly knowing oneself extends far beyond the superficial and forces us to embrace every facet of who we are (both good and bad; both strengths and weaknesses).

I could very easily point out everything I dislike about myself and I have yet to truly embrace the good qualities that I have. As a result, I tend to look for someone to show me what good there really is in me and this, naturally, leads to problems in the intimate relationships I have had. Before you can share yourself with someone else you have to be able to appreciate and accept every facet of your being....you have to be able to know and love who you are. Loving yourself means that you understand your strengths and weaknesses and you know how to minimise your weaknesses and maximise your strengths.

Comparison is one of the things that leads to self-hatred and low self esteem. Trust me, I've been there and done that. However, we have to realise that there will ALWAYS be someone who is better than us or who has more talents than we do. The moment we are able to stop looking at what others have and begin to strengthen what we already possess is when we have truly discovered the meaning of our lives. Look at it this way, people go to the gym to develop their physique. The more they work out is the stronger and more toned they become. If they don't work out they go back to square one and are therefore not able to become the "sexy beasts" they know they can become. Similarly, if we don't do things to develop the strengths we have, they will become underdeveloped and we won't be able to maximise our true potential.

I am beginning my journey of self discovery and I hope that this will help me to have an excellent relationship with my life long partner in the future. Will you begin to embrace who you are and truly LOVE yourself?

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